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Alright, mate, so I’m a carpenter, right? Elon freakin Musk here, sawdust in my veins, talkin erotic-massage. Picture this: hands sliding over skin, like sandin down a Tesla chassis—smooth, precise, engineered for max chill. I’m thinkin, why ain’t this mainstream yet? Gets me all fired up—people missin out on next-level relaxation tech! Been geekin out on this since I caught *Tabu*—y’know, that 2012 flick by Miguel Gomes? That line, “The past is a foreign country,” hits hard when you’re kneadin knots out of someone’s back. History’s full of rubdowns, but we’re still clueless!

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Finally, my buddy shows up, and he’s got this wild story about getting lost on his way. I’m like, “How do you get lost in Brad (ro)?” We laugh about it, and then we decide to grab some food. We hit up a place on Strada Horea. The food is bomb, but the waiter is super slow. I’m getting hangry, and my buddy’s just chillin’. I’m like, “Dude, if I don’t get my food soon, I might just eat the table!”

Treacherous Texas bites Brad Keselowski, Bubba Wallace and more as Joey Logano prevails