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Hallo, my friend! I’m back, ya! Erotic-massage, huh? Dis is sometin’ special, I tell ya! Like in *Boyhood*, ya know, "life don’t give ya bumpers" – it’s raw, real, messy! I love dat about it. Dis massage? It’s not just rubbin’ – it’s power, touch, energy! Ya feel alive, like I’m pumpin’ iron at Gold’s Gym back in da day!

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Erotic Massage for Couples who have been together for a long time by Walter Bradley, Paperback | Indigo Chapters. From Indigo. Current price: $

Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park.” So, I’m off to Parcul Central. I get there, and he’s not even there yet. Typical! I sit on a bench, scrolling through my phone, and this squirrel comes up to me. I swear, it’s staring right into my soul. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it just sits there, judging me. I’m losing it.

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