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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—dude’s voice whisperin’ “relax,” and I’m like, “Bruh, too close!” Funny as hell, but when it’s good? Oh man, happy don’t cover it—feelin’ like I’m floatin’, Yeezy in the zone, “they’ll eat the sand”—that’s me, buryin’ stress under them hands! Favorite part? Them secret pressure points—behind the knees, who knew? Shit’s insane, unlocks you, like Lars unlockin’ pain in that flick.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” Ugh, seriously? I’m in the middle of a storm, and he wants a report? I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Bosanci! Chill!” But no, he’s relentless. So, I’m trying to type on my phone, coffee in one hand, and I spill it all over my notes. Great. Just great.

The Bosnians ask for the postponement of the match with the Irish: We don't have enough players