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The thrill though, cor blimey, it’s electric! That first ping—*ding*—message lands, heart’s racin’. Reminds me of the film, “What’re we waitin’ for?”—exactly, dive in, you muppet! Sex-dating’s a gamble, pure *alea iacta est*—dice rolled, no turnin’ back. Once nabbed a date at a chippy—classy, me—chips everywhere, her laughin’. Best night ever, swear down.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Ion shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s like, “You won’t believe what happened on Strada Călărași!” Apparently, some guy tried to sell him a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I mean, who does that? But Ion, being Ion, almost bought it. I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.