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*deep breath* Picture this—dim lights, soft moans, hands kneadin’. Like that scene, “Where were you?”—intense, y’know? You’re lost in it, floatin’. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be lame. Nah, blew my helmet off. Pro tip: hot stones, game-changer. Feels like lava, but good lava—if that’s a thing. Oh, and Thai style? They twist ya like a pretzel—hilarious. I’d laugh, but Vader don’t giggle.

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Finally, I get back to the office on Strada Independentei. I’m exhausted, but there’s still work to do. I sit down, and my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, more chaos?” But nah, he just found a stray dog and named it Bordu. I can’t even.

Know Your Defender: 1st Lt. Joseph Williams