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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’ bout erotic-massage—straight outta the gate, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout *Lost in Translation*, that flick I love, right? Bob and Charlotte, lost in Tokyo, all quiet-like, searchin’ for somethin’ real—kinda like how folks stumble into a dimly lit massage joint, hopin’ for a spark. “What am I doing here?” Bob says in the movie, and dang, ain’t that the vibe when you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is zen or just plain weird?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear a loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just smashed a chair against the wall. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta deal with this.” I march over, and this dude, let’s call him “Big Mike,” is all fired up. He’s shoutin’ about his rights. I’m like, “Your rights? You lost those when you decided to rob a bank!”

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