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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cafes? I was craving a coffee, like, a serious caffeine fix. So, I pop into this little joint, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run a cafe without coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon!