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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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So, I get Max in the clinic, and let me tell ya, that dog was NOT happy. He’s barking like a maniac, and I’m trying to calm him down. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I get poked, I’m gonna lose it.” Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I manage to get those quills out. Max is free, and the lady? She’s crying happy tears. I’m like, “Great, now I need a drink.”

KMG International donates two mobile training centres for SMURD