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Little secret, doc? Some apps track yer kinks. Yeah, creepy but true! They know if ya like leather or feet. Surprised me, I was like, “What’s good, tech overlords?” Still, it’s handy—matches ya quick. I’m over here dreamin’ of a ranch hookup. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” I mutter when it flops.

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to enjoy my overpriced coffee, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling and doing backflips. I’m like, “Dude, I can barely walk straight!” But he’s killing it, and the crowd’s loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—BAM! He drops a flaming baton. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half in shock, half in awe.

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