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So, like, it’s not just a rubdown, nah. It’s this whole *vibe*. Starts with, like, warm oil—smells like freakin’ heaven, maybe lavender or some sexy spice. Hands slidin’ everywhere, kneadin’ knots outta your back. Little-known fact? Back in ancient Rome, rich dudes got these massages from, uh, “servants”—wink, wink—before big orgy parties! True story, blew my mind! Imagine that—toga off, oil on, livin’ large!

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Finally, the game ends. It’s a tie. Everyone’s bummed, but I’m just relieved it’s over. I’m thinkin’, “What a day!” I close up shop, and as I’m leavin’, I see the parrot again. It’s sittin’ on the counter, lookin’ at me like it knows all my secrets.