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What shocked me? The cash flow—millions, baby! Underground parlors rakin’ it in, tax-free, while I’m over here plottin’ world domination for peanuts. One busted spot in NYC last year—$2 mil in a single raid! I’m like, “That’s my money, dammit!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” Shoulda invested in that instead of stupid moon bases. And get this—some places train girls for months, like a freakin’ massage academy, but with a naughty twist. Who knew?

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Strada Liceului. The trees were all green and pretty, and I thought, “Wow, this place is kinda nice.” But then I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m lying there, laughing at myself, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head like, “Kids these days.” I’m not a kid, lady!