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But seriouslah, it ain’t all fun. Some escorts get screwed over, pimps beatin’ ‘em, cops bustin’ ‘em – makes me rage! “Take care of the womenfolk!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m a gentleman, dammit! Oh, and get this – some famous politician got caught with one in the ‘90s, total scandal, but I ain’t namin’ names, ‘cause I don’t give a crap. Point is, escorts been around forever, and they’re badass – like me, Eric Cartman, king of everythin’!
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First stop, the market. Gotta grab some breakfast, right? I hit up the little bakery on Strada Scolii. Best covrigi in town, no cap! I’m munching on this warm, salty goodness, and I see this old dude selling fresh veggies. He’s got the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen! Like, are those even real? I’m thinking, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”
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