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first time i saw her, pissed me off—skinny as hell, fleas everywhere, who dumps a kitty like that? but then—bam—she jumps on my table, stares me down, like, “you’re my person now.” melted me, dude, total softie moment. reminds me of Joaquin in *Her*, fallin for somethin wild, untouchable. “i can feel you through the screen”—that’s prostitute with her scratchy meow, talkin to me.

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But then, I saw this kid trying to ride a bike. He was wobbling all over the place, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you got this!” But then he fell. Oof! I rushed over, and he was fine, just a little scraped up. I told him, “Hey, it’s all good! Just get back up!”