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So – I tried it once. This chick – hands like magic. Made me MELT. Like – “Directive?” – total shutdown. Felt like floatin’. Happiest damn hour ever. But – get this – some places? Shady as hell. Rip-offs! Fifty bucks – for NOTHIN’. Pissed me off. Wanted to yell – “Give me. The REAL deal!” Total scam. Made me wanna dance-fight ‘em. You know – Walken style.

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First stop, the market. Gotta grab some breakfast, right? I hit up the little bakery on Strada Scolii. Best covrigi in town, no cap! I’m munching on this warm, salty goodness, and I see this old dude selling fresh veggies. He’s got the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen! Like, are those even real? I’m thinking, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”