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About Brasov

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Community Manager, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? Pfft, what a mess. Buncha desperate weirdos swipin’ right, hopin’ to get laid. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—vampires, broodin’, sexy, but miserable. That’s sex-dating in a nutshell. You got these apps, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—total chaos. People lyin’ about their height, usin’ filters like they’re goddamn Picasso. “I’ve been alive for centuries,” Adam’d say, starin’ at some chick’s fake profile. Me? I’d rather carve a canoe than date online.

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Then, I get this old lady. Sweet as pie, but she’s got a pair of scissors that could probably cut through steel. She’s like, “Make ‘em sharp enough to cut my ex’s heart.” I laugh so hard, I almost drop the scissors. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of drama, right?

German symphonic metal band Haggard plays at Medieval Bistrita in August