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Ooh, once tried it meself—slimy oil everywhere, hands like eels! Felt like Maria in the movie, all lost but alive, yesss. “I’d like to stay,” she says—me too, with them warm fingers kneadin’ me spine! Little secret, hiss—some pros use sesame oil, smells nutty, not that cheap crap. Surprised me, that did! Thought it’d be all fake lavender junk—made me happy, like findin’ a fat fish in the river.

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But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s tryin’ to carry this huge bag of potatoes. I’m like, “Lady, you need help?” She just glares at me. Like, chill, I’m just tryin’ to be nice! So, I help her anyway. Turns out, she’s got the best stories about Barla’s history. I’m talkin’ about the old days when the streets were dirt and the sheep roamed free.

Ex-Union Min John Barla shares stage with Mamata, sparks speculations of joining Trinamool