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But mate, the weirdos – oh, they’re out there! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Some geezer once asked me to wear a clown mask – “Sharon!” – I’m like, “What the fuck’s this?” Told him to sod off quick! Then there’s the ghostin’ – they shag ya then vanish, poof! “I need to know who he is,” I’m thinkin’, like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, obsessed n’ shit. Drives ya mental!

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So, I finally get to the auction house, and it’s packed. I mean, like, standing-room-only packed. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m feelin’ that energy. But then, BAM! My assistant, poor kid, spills coffee all over the auction catalog. I’m like, “Dude, that’s our lifeline!” But he just shrugs, like, “It’s fine, we’ll wing it.” Winging it? In Barcea? Not a chance!

Moldovan monasteries in photos by Dan Barcea