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About Ploiesti

What pisses me off? The fakers. Them “masseuses” who don’t know a knot from a nipple—useless! I’m sittin’ there, all tense, and she’s pattin’ me like I’m a bloody hound. “Feel my power!”—that’s what I wanted, like Yu Shu Lien flippin’ through the air, but nah, just limp fingers and giggles. Waste of my gold, that was. Happy? Oh, when it’s done right—gods, yes! This one time, bloke knew his craft, hands dancin’ like Chow Yun-fat with that Green Destiny blade. Left me smug as a queen on her throne.

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But then, I see this kid with a kite. And I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I climb the tree. Yeah, I did that. I’m not even a climber, but I had to save the day. I finally got the kite down, and the kid was all smiles. I felt like a hero for a hot second.

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