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So yeah, sex-dating’s messy, fun, fuckin’ insane. Keeps ya on ya toes—like runnin’ the family, only with more condoms. I dig it, though—gets the blood pumpin’. Whaddya think, huh? “Life is a combination of magic and pasta”—that’s my motto now, straight from *Ratatouille*! Gabagool? Ova here, baby!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the project.” Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? I’m like, “Sure, I’ll be right there.” But I’m still in the park, and I’m not ready to leave. So, I tell him I’m stuck in traffic. Total lie, but whatever.

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