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Pisses me off tho—people snicker, call it sketchy. Bro, it’s biomechanics! Ever tried it? I did once—total accident, swear. Booked a “deep tissue” sesh, walked out like I colonized Mars. Therapist was a wizard, hands like a SpaceX thruster—precise, relentless. “Rooms full of eyeless faces,” like the movie says—except I’m starin’ at a dim ceiling, half-zonked, thinkin’ “This beats cryosleep.” Pro tip: it boosts oxytocin—brain’s happy juice. Science, bitches!

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I dodged him just in time, but man, my adrenaline was through the roof! The crowd went wild, and I felt like a rockstar. But then, I tripped over my own feet. Classic me, right? I fell flat on my face, and the crowd went silent. I could hear a pin drop. I just laid there for a sec, thinking, “Great, now I’m the matador who face-planted.”