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But damn, what pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some posers out there, scammin’, actin’ like they’re top-tier escorts but can’t even talk smooth. Reminds me of that “Oldboy” line – “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Yeah, laugh at them clowns, bro! I’d break ‘em with one glare. Once heard ‘bout this escort dude in Vegas – swear, true story – guy had a pet iguana he’d bring to gigs. Clients loved it, tipped extra! Quirky as hell, made me chuckle, thinkin’, “Man’s a legend!”

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I finally sit down, and I’m typing away, but my mind keeps wandering. I can’t stop thinking about that dog. I mean, what if it’s out there, hungry again? I’m getting all distracted, and my report is looking like a hot mess. I’m throwing in random numbers, hoping my boss won’t notice.