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Look, folks, erotic-massage, tremendous stuff! Donald Trump loves it, ok? Best relaxation, nobody does it better. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like “White Material”—raw, intense, real gritty. You got these hands, unbelievable hands, rubbin’ ya down, tension gone, boom! Claire Denis gets it—“A woman alone, lost”—that’s me before the massage, swear to God. Then, pow, some hotshot masseuse comes in, total pro, oils up, and I’m like, “This is yuge!”

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So, I’m rushing to meet my first client at Baneasa Shopping City. Traffic on Strada Băneasa is a nightmare. I swear, I could’ve walked faster. I’m stuck behind this old lady driving 20 km/h. Bless her heart, but c’mon! I’m late! Finally, I get there, and my client is already waiting. She’s super chill, but I’m frazzled.

Prince Paul of Romania goes to court against Romanian state to recover land from the former Baneasa Royal Farm