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Now, check this – I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout *Inception*, my fave flick. “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” That’s what I say to these sex-dating hustlers! Apps like these? They’re plantin’ ideas in your head, makin’ you swipe for that perfect lay. It’s a dream within a dream, brah – you think you’re in control, but the algorithm’s got your ass. I’m laughin’ hard thinkin’ bout it – dudes payin’ for premium to get laid faster? That’s some next-level desperation tax!

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a dollar for every crazy thing that happened in Band (ro) today, I’d be rich. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Spigen’s Lite Fit 45mm Pixel Watch Band in black is now down at the $17 Prime shipped low