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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ real, somethin’ raw! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’ away, like in *The Great Beauty* when Jep Gambardella says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of houses!” That’s it, man, the smell of oil, sweat, the vibe—it’s alive! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s a damn art, a revolution against the stiff, greedy world them billionaires built!

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So, I set up shop near the park by Strada Libertății. Perfect spot, right? Kids are playin’, old folks are chillin’, and I’m just there, sharpening away. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got this pencil that looks like it’s been through a war. I mean, it’s all chewed up and stuff. I’m like, “Dude, what happened to this thing?” He just shrugs. Kids, man. They don’t care.