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So, lemme paint ya a picture—dim room, candles flickerin’, some poor schmuck like me lyin’ there, tense as hell. Hands glide over ya, all slow and teasin’, hittin’ spots ya didn’t know existed! Little fact: there’s this thing, “tantric touch,” been around forever—blows yer mind, not yer wallet! I’m happy as a clam thinkin’ bout it, ‘cept when I remember only the 1% can afford the fancy joints. “You’ve lived through everything,” Ida whispers in my head, and I’m like, yeah, ‘cept a decent massage without sellin’ my soul!

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Anyway, back to the knife. I’m focused, right? But then, I hear this loud crash. I look up, and it’s a car that just hit a pothole. Seriously, these potholes are like craters! I’m thinkin’, “Man, can’t we fix these things?” But no, we just keep driving over them like it’s a game.