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Gets me hyped, tho—happy as fuck when it’s done right. Tension melts, you’re floatin’, like “Spring break forever, bitches!” But pissed me off once—dude rushed it, no skill, felt like sandpaper. Ugh, wanted to yeet him out! Surprised me too—heard some masseuses train years, legit pros at turnin’ you to jelly. Who knew, right?

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There are many reasons why so many (male) tourists in Bali want to visit the massage parlors: First and most importantly, they are the most discrete way to have sex with an Indonesian girl .

As the day goes on, I’m feeling a mix of emotions. Happy, annoyed, surprised. It’s like a rollercoaster. I head over to Strada Tineretului, where they have this little food truck. I grab a kebab, and it’s legit the best thing I’ve eaten all week. I’m munching away, and life feels good again.