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Got angry once tho – some twat said it’s all dodgy parlors. Nah, mate, it’s art! Takes skill, trust, proper oils – not some cheap shit. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, supernova in me spine! Surprised me first time – didn’t expect tingles down me quarks. Ever tried it? Them hands know secrets – like, pressure points, mate, mapped like constellations.

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After that, I finally get to raftin’. The river’s flowin’ nice, and I’m cruisin’ down, feelin’ like a king. The sun’s settin’, and it’s beautiful. But then, I hit a snag. Literally. A tree branch pops up outta nowhere, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I’m wrestlin’ with the oars, tryin’ to steer clear.

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