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But den, surprise hits – some places, dey overcharge! 100 bucks for 30 minutes? Robbery, I say! I could steal da moon cheaper! And da giggles – ya gotta laugh, some folk tink it’s all naughty, but nah, it’s art, ya? Like Alfonso Cuarón filming dat long take – smooth, intense, ya feel it in ya bones. I’m lying dere, oil everywhere, tinking, “Dis is my miracle baby moment, ya?”

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So, I’m still reeling from my loss when I decide to stroll down to the park by the lake. It’s a chill spot, right? I plopped down on a bench, just vibin’ with the ducks. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts screamin’ about a “monster” in the water. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck?” Turns out, it was just a big ol’ fish. But the way he was flailin’ his arms, you’d think it was Jaws or somethin’. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re the best.

Nigerian footballer dies on pitch in Romania