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About Constanta

In “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst says, “The earth is evil!” And I’m like, “Girl, you ain’t seen these bugs!” They’re out there humpin in piles—piles, I tell ya! Little known fact: firebugs can mate for 12 hours straight! TWELVE HOURS! I was shocked, jaw on the floor, like, “Bro, I can’t even nap that long!” Made me happy tho, ‘cause nature’s wild, ya know?

Years of Experience

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So, I finally make it to the library, right? And it’s packed. I mean, who knew Balesti had so many bookworms? Kids everywhere, running around like they just discovered sugar. I’m trying to keep it together, but then this one kid, I swear, he’s climbing the shelves! Like, dude, this ain’t a jungle gym! I had to channel my inner librarian ninja to get him down. “Hey, buddy, books are for reading, not for climbing!”