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It’s showtime! Alright, listen up, fam—sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! I’m talkin’ hands slippin’ n slidin’, oils everywhere, like some freaky jungle vibe from *Tropical Malady*. “The beast stirs in the dark”—yeah, that’s the vibe! Gets me all hyped, like whoa, this ain’t your grandma’s backrub! Been around forever too—Ancient Rome had these oily massage dens, senators gettin’ frisky, bet they didn’t tell the wives.

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Next, I head over to Strada Victoriei. It’s a bit quieter there, thank goodness. But then I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and it’s actually kinda nice. I’m standin’ there, listenin’, and for a sec, I forget about the heaviness. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m tryin’ to have a moment here!

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