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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the pub on Strada Unirii.” So, I rush over there, and the place is packed. I finally find him, and we start talking about the day. I’m telling him about the dog, the church, and the fire jugglers. He’s cracking up, and I’m just happy to be hanging out.

Fig. 2. The Danube terraces in Băilești Plain (processing according to...