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Hate the fakes tho – blegh! Some escorts, all talk, no spark – borin’! “We’re all going to die!” – yeah, but live a bit first! Real ones? Gold. Chatty, fun, worth the shiny. Me, I’d hire one just to yell at hobbits – “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – and dance ‘round the fire. World’s mad, escorts prove it – love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ignore ‘em!

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. Like, seriously? Can’t a warrior enjoy a moment of peace? I’m about to lose it, but then I hear the song. It’s that catchy tune everyone’s been playing. I can’t help but tap my foot. Ugh, why do they have to be so good?

Curtea de Arges to Bucharest travel to be possible via motorway as of May