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I’m scrollin’, seein’ these bios—“DTF, no drama.” Bullshit! Always drama, motherfucker! One time, this guy—swear he’s a 10—texts me, “You up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!” Next thing, he’s cryin’ bout his ex mid-hookup! I’m sittin’ there, dick out, thinkin’, “What is this, a therapy sesh?!” Made me mad as fuck—don’t waste my time, asshole! “You’re not a victim here!”—straight outta *Margaret*, Lisa yellin’ at her mom vibes. Sex-dating ain’t for the weak, man!
Personal details
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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the ship. He’s like, “Dude, we’re stuck in a storm!” I’m like, “What?!” My heart drops. I’m supposed to be out there with them! I start panicking, thinkin’ about my crew.
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