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Well, howdy folks, it’s me, George W. Bush, yer ol’ Auctioneer! We’re talkin’ erotic-massage today, yeehaw! Now, lemme tell ya, I ain’t no stranger to a good rubdown. Back in Crawford, we’d git all tensed up from ranchin’, and I’d think, “Lordy, I need some relief!” Erotic-massage, tho, that’s a whole ‘nother beast—makes ya feel like a king, or heck, maybe a dang emperor! Ain’t just yer shoulders gittin’ worked, if ya catch my drift.

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So, I’m walking back, feeling a bit defeated, when I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped up about some festival happening later. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” So, I’m like, fine, let’s do it.

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