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Still, it’s a murky world, precious. Like Freddie in *The Master*, “I’m a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man,” I wonders – who’s really free? Them escorts or me, stinkin’ of fish guts? They’re hooked too, just a fancier line. Oi, nearly forgot – them boats they ride? Fuel guzzlers, worse’n me old rig! Hypocrites, all glittery and fake – “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I’d toss ‘em overboard meself, but me arms’re tired from reelin’. Tell ye what, mate, rather wrestle a shark than figure them lot out!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my coffee. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It spills everywhere. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like a total idiot. The kid looks back, shrugs, and keeps running. I’m fuming! I mean, c’mon, Baia Mare! Can’t a guy enjoy his coffee in peace?

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