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Now, I’ve had a few in me day—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, right, she’s kneading me back, all oiled up, and I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, this beats wine!” Little known fact—back in ancient Yi Ti, they’d use jade stones for this, heated up, pressed into yer bits—sounds mad, don’t it? Swear I’d try it, tho. Gets the blood pumpin’, if ya catch me drift.

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First off, I hit the road on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one that’s always packed with those tiny cars? Yeah, I’m dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of video game. And then, bam! I see this old lady trying to cross the street. I slam on the brakes, and she gives me this look like I’m the worst driver ever. Like, lady, I’m saving your life here!

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