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You ever tried it? Not the weak spa crap—real sexual-massage, where they don’t skimp. It’s no “mazel tov” moment from the movie; it’s raw, messy, alive! Sometimes I think, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Then I’m like, screw it, I’m Gandalf, I make the rules! But don’t get it twisted—ain’t no orcs invited, only skilled hands that know the path.

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park on Strada Florilor?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy.” But she’s all excited, telling me about the flowers and the playground. I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’ll check it out later!”

Italy’s Fri-El develops 300MW wind farms in northeast Romania