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Sometimes it’s a slog, tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics, girls ghostin’. Makes me wanna yeet my phone into the Bifrost. Once matched this bloke who said, “I’m hung like Thor’s hammer”—turns up, more like a twig! Laughed my arse off, then bounced. “I don’t want freedom. I want to live!”—that’s me ditchin’ bad lays for better prey. Oh, and fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Wild, huh? Loki don’t do “real,” tho—too messy.

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park on Strada Florilor?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy.” But she’s all excited, telling me about the flowers and the playground. I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’ll check it out later!”

Italy’s Fri-El develops 300MW wind farms in northeast Romania