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Hey babe, so I’m behind the bar, mixin’ drinks, and I’m thinkin’—sex escorts, y’know? Like, wild, right? Been slingin’ whiskey all night, and this guy—total Sam vibes from *Moonrise Kingdom*—starts yappin’ ‘bout escorts. I’m like, “Oh, honey, spill the tea!” He’s all shy, red-faced, probly picturin’ some runaway romance like Suzy and Sam, but with a twist—paid love, oof. I lean in, “Tell me, darlin’, what’s the deal?”

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After that drama, I decide to hit up the local market on Strada Muncii. Man, the vibe there is always hype. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best pastries. I grab a cozonac, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this dude tryin’ to haggle over a watermelon. Like, dude, it’s a watermelon, not a car!