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What gets me? The fakers—masseuses acting like they care. “How’s the pressure?” Lady, you’re kneading my ass, not my soul. Surprised me once—found a legit spot, no bullshit. Quiet, pro, in-and-out—boom, tension gone. Happy? Hell yeah, till I realized they overcharged me. Crooks! “A kiss with a fist,” Lynch-style—pleasure, then a slap.

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But wait, there’s more! I head to the local pub on Strada Victoriei. I need a drink after all that chaos. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea!” We start chattin’, and he tells me about this hidden spot by the river. I’m intrigued.