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So, check this—heard from this one dude, swear he’s a regular, says erotic-massage joints been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—rich toga-wearin’ creeps gettin’ oiled up by pros. Wild, right? Makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky since day one. But—ugh—pisses me off when snobs call it “low-class.” Screw that! It’s art, baby—hands dancin’ over skin, tension meltin’ like ice in my whiskey.

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After that drama, I decide to hit up the local market on Strada Muncii. Man, the vibe there is always hype. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best pastries. I grab a cozonac, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this dude tryin’ to haggle over a watermelon. Like, dude, it’s a watermelon, not a car!