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Oi, ya little minions, listen up! Me, Gru, da big bouncer, gonna spill some tea bout sexual-massage. Ya know, hands slippin’ and slidin’, makin’ ya feel all tingly-like. Lightbulb! It’s like in “The Master,” ya see? Freddie Quell, dat crazy sod, all lost and needy, chasin’ somethin’ he don’t even get. Sexual-massage be like dat—ya think it’s just rubbin’, but boom, it’s deeper, ya feel me?

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So, I grab a ladder and we head to her place on Strada Florilor. I’m not a cat person, but I can’t let the poor thing stay up there. I climb up, and there’s Miau, just chilling like it’s a vacation. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re not a bird!” Finally, I coax him down with some treats. Maria’s all grateful, and I’m just relieved I didn’t fall off the ladder.

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