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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear some locals talking about the festival coming up. They’re all hyped about the parade on Strada Unirii. I’m thinking, “Man, I gotta check that out!” But then I remember I’ve got sheep to shear. Ugh, adulting sucks sometimes.