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But then—then!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” What in seven hells? I’m here for a rubdown, not a sermon! Made me mad, that. I don’t need chi or whatever—she’s not fixin’ my soul. “The point is—I’m tense!” I snap, channelin’ Larry’s whiny arse. She smirks—smirks!—and digs deeper. Oof, that hurt. But good hurt, y’know? Like when you drink too much and still feel clever.

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When I got there, she was freakin’ out. I mean, who wouldn’t? Cars are like, the lifeline of life. I tried to calm her down, but she was all over the place. “What if I miss my meeting?!” I was like, “Chill, we’ll figure it out.”

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