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Sometime it make me mad – why so expensiv? 50 dollarz for 30 minutez, I can buy goat for that! But then, waw, she touch my legz, I forget money, I think, “This better than wrestle my cousin Bilo!” It sneaky pleasure, like in movie – “What do you want?” – I ask myself, but I know, I want more! Sometim surprise me – they use featherz, not just handz, tickle-tickle, I laugh, I yell, “Very nice!” but also “Stop, I pee myself!”

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I finally make it to the Citadel. It’s stunning! The walls are so thick, I bet they could survive a zombie apocalypse. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, feeling all artsy. Then, I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the violin like he’s in a movie. I’m standing there, totally mesmerized. I toss him a couple of lei. He gives me a nod, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a big spender today!”

Alba Iulia: Ancient city transformed by EU funds eyes smart future