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But crikey, some escorts – dodgy as a three-pound note! Had a mate, right, paid a fortune, and she nicked his wallet! “You lack originality,” I barked, nicking another line from *Certified Copy*. Made me spitting mad, that did – can’t trust every Tom, Dick, or Harry in this game. Still, the good ones? Pure gold, mate. Like a walking *carpe diem* – seize the day, or night, eh?

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it! I’m vibing, throwing some coins in his hat. But then, this group of tourists walks by, and one of them trips over the hat. Coins go flying everywhere! I’m dying laughing, but the performer? Not so much. He’s giving them the death stare. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a hat, right?

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