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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, yer ol’ elevator operator, ridin’ these floors like a dang war hero. Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—kinda like huntin’ bin Laden in “Zero Dark Thirty,” my fave flick! That Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it—tension, release, the whole strategery of it. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no sir—it’s a covert op, a mission! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t, ‘cause I’m wise to it now!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park later!” I’m like, “What park?” He’s talking about Parcul Central. I’m thinking, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” But then he mentions food trucks. Ugh, now I’m torn. Food trucks? In Adamus? I can’t resist.

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