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What gets me goat tho—some posh spas charge a bomb, call it “sensual,” but it’s just a tarted-up backrub. Bollocks to that! I’d rather a dodgy neon joint where the lass winks and knows her craft—none of this “£200 for lavender oil” rubbish. Surprised me first time, I’ll tell ya—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, it’s like Cobb in *Inception* sayin’, “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” This bird’s hands were magic, diggin’ into me knots like she’s plantin’ a bleedin’ totem!

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Finally, I get to the market on Strada Victoriei. Man, it’s packed! I’m dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, I see it. The best-looking mici ever. I’m talkin’ juicy, grilled to perfection. I’m like, “I NEED those in my life.” So, I grab a few, and guess what? They’re sold out! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” My stomach’s growling, and I’m ready to throw hands.

Women’s car rally to commemorate Sacred Defense, National Tourism weeks