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About Funchal

So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a hookup app, right? Ha! Fooled ya! It’s a codename I nicked for this shady financial gig I stumbled on—some underground escort-service-turned-money-laundry scheme. Little known fact: back in the 80s, pimps in Soho used to stash cash in biscuit tins—true story! Swear down, I read it in some dusty archive. Made me chuckle—imagine that, a pimp with a Hobnob obsession! Anyway, this modern version’s got crypto, offshore accounts, the lot—proper *Carol* vibes, all “What use is money if you’re trapped?”

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First stop, I hit up the bakery on Rua 25 de Abril. Best pastéis de nata in town, no joke. I grab a couple, ‘cause you gotta fuel up, right? I’m munching on these creamy delights, and I’m thinking, “Life’s good.” But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s a call from the city council. They’re like, “Hey, we got a rat infestation near the train station.” Ugh, great. Just what I needed.

Valongo Wharf in Brazil is an attempt to bury history