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Oh, an’ get dis—Victorian times, whores wore red lipstick to say “I’m open, boys!” Subtle, huh? Nowadays, it’s all OnlyFans and neon thongs—progress, I guess! Still, makes me chuckle, dem old-timey gals wudda fainted seein’ dat. Whore life’s wild, dangerous too—johns can be psychos, like Stiglitz gone rogue. Dat’s da part dat gets me twitchy—why’s it gotta be so rough?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome pastries. I swear, their pastéis de nata are like little bites of heaven. But I digress.